How do say goodbye to the best thing that’s ever happened to you?

‘They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.’- Edgar Allen Poe.

Well, finals are over. I’m officially a senior. Weird to think, huh? So here is my problem: I’ve never been one to cry. Graduations? I could care less. Even funerals? It just isn’t something I do. But even now, thinking that a week from now I won’t be here, it hurts really really badly. For the first time in my life, I have found someplace that I belong. Someplace that makes me happy, a level of happiness I didn’t know existed. A place that inspires you to dream and explore; it pushes you to live. You know, I wrote a life checklist a couple years back. The very first thing on it was to travel the world. I had all these images in my head, imaging what it would be like to really go through with this. The only image I could really see was a little kid, from Africa, playing for the camera. Don’t ask me why. A whole 3 and a half months, and the entire world, and that’s the one thing I saw over and over in my head. Well, go figure one of the most amazing moments of my life was playing patty cake with a little girl, in the African townships. It just so happened to be caught by the photographer for the ship, and its now hanging on the wall of his best pictures. In these last three months, I sat around with my friends, reminiscing about our crazy rickshaw rides, getting lost countless times, and then those moments that made everything worth it. The fact that we sit around nonchalantly saying, ‘Vietnam today, China tomorrow, and Japan right after that.’ It’s ridiculous. Life shouldn’t be like that. It just seems so impossible you know? But it is. It’s out there, waiting for you. We just trap ourselves with restraints, making the possible seem impossible. I have been criticized for dreaming ridiculously big, and seen people roll their eyes when I tell them I want to do this or that. I was so focused on making everyone happy, that I forgot to live for myself. Yet, in these past three months, I think everyone on board has ‘lived’ more than so many people we know. That maybe, just maybe, I haven’t been taken seriously because I have the guts to go after my dreams, and achieve them, in the first place. So I have a challenge for you…Think of everything in life you’ve ever wanted to do. It can be anything as simple as eating something new (sushi? Caviar? Hell, anyone want to try pigs tongue?) to your biggest dreams (traveling around the world, starting your own business, etc.). Have a girl you want to ask out? Want to do something absolutely silly like swim in a baby pool full of noodles? What’s holding you back? 101 things. You’re not allowed to think logistics. Just make a list. Then, pick a day to start, mine will be May 9th when we dock, and you will have 1001 days to complete your list. We only have one life to live. Are you brave enough to really live it? Go do everything you’ve ever wanted to do, and find a way to make it happen. The second you start making excuses, you’re only limiting yourself and holding yourself back. This ship has taught me so much, but above all, it’s given me strength to accept that I’m just not going to fit into anybody’s mold. That life doesn’t have to be a set track, especially if you could never adhere to it anyways. I’m going to miss the MV Explorer, these people, and the times I’ve had- probably for the rest of my life. This will be the hardest goodbye- ever. But at least I have so much more ahead of me. Now go start that list. What’s a matter, scared?

“We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time.” T.S.. Eliot, Four Quartets